Tired so very tired

I am so exhausted. I may not seem like it in my life to see me but I am. Schoolwork and applications have been so big in my life at the moment. I have my entrance written exam on Monday and I am not ready. I am going to relax until Sunday and then crack on it. I am not sure what I want. I know what I want I want a "normal' life, a man who loves me, a secure home, a secure good paying job and not have to worry about what a shit life I am having and the shittier life my children are having. I am providing zero support for anyone, with financial or emotional or physical. I am desperately burnt out, working on papers trying to remember what I want to do about things. I am alone in so many ways. I am considering giving things up just go fuck it all...and give up. I know I am venting because this is the point of my life where I am wondering what the hell am I doing? I would love to win the lottery tonight...life would be so much easier...well guess tons of money means a whole new set of problems!