A Little Good News

Well I had some good news today in a way. Had a doctors appointment. I haven't had a proper examination in about 2 years. So went and got my boobsicles and plumbing checked LOL. Everything is good, no surprises just have to wait for the normal test results. I was a little worried about going, no lumps yayyyy and the plumbing looks good. Blood pressure is 120/80 so thats perfect. She did try telling me to maybe change from injections to other things but its like no thanks. I have a few years before I have to consider that. So a little good news for a change!

I am a addict

Well I went out with my friend last night and did something stupid. I went gambling. I was fortunate to have hauled my ass out of the fire and won enough to cover most of what I took out of the bank. But thats it I have to stop. My life the last couple of years has been up and down. One of the big issues was my money and gambling. Take it or leave it sometimes but I did get into it deeply and lost savings. So now I have to stop. I am in the phase of doing things self destructive. I can't afford this I need to establish savings etc. Damn stuff, worst part is socially what I do sometimes. I have a coworker who wants me to go occasionally. I am going to get into control.

I HATE LIFE

I just had a blow up with my husband. Because of a stupid card I had to get a few years back and not being able to keep up with payments for a short while its now stopping me from getting a mortgage. I was working in a hotel and needed a winter coat and I had to get a store card because my husband refused to put it on his card. I ended up losing hours and that card got neglected for awhile. Instead a understanding husband who would buy the coat on his card and just include it in his payments I married a selfish prick who refused. I am so upset and I told him that because he wouldnt' buy me a coat during a rough patch I couldn't make payments and god forbid he wouldn't pay for the payments for me now its effecting my life now. My credit is good now but because they go so far back thats still showing. I had a counselling appointment today and of course discussing my marriage I came home to him being here. My son had to witness that but I had had enough.
I am tired of having to do things on my own. Make the best of it if I go bankrupt thats all I can do. If I sell this place he gets $20,000 because its what he is entitled or so he says meanwhile he can't be bothered to do much more than put a peice of plywood on my roof and hope for the best.
I just need a break I swear before I break.

I married a idiot!!!!!!!! Grrrrrrrrr

Yup I did! I was talking to him on the phone and we were talking and I mentioned how the kids had been keeping the house clean and I was going to give them money. Of course he doesn't have money for that to give them. Idiot. AND then he told them about the dog dying so now he told them it all depends on me on getting a new dog because only way they are getting one is if it can go to my house. I DON"T WANT THAT!!!

I know what I don't want

I was at work the other night and we went for a ride in car. Now I was about ready to puke by the end of it. The smell was horrendous. It was a mixture of stale smoke and old wet dog, stinky dog. I thought in my life I definately don't want those smells as a everyday thing. I don't miss dogs and I don't miss smoke.

Tired

I am so tired, worked a few hours yesterday and today. I have just picked up a few more hours. So this pay coming up I will have worked 131 hours. hmmmmmm 103 last pay, 100 this one and next one is 131. I am going to have to slow it down a little bit.

Rain rain go away

What a bleah day today is. I worked last night then spent a couple of hours at the hospital. Just routine things and I may actually be able to get a mole removed !!! Been waiting months for that. Had my injection today as well. I am tired, but life is OK now. I saw my counsellor yesterday and that went pretty good. I am glad that I started and she has helped me a bit. She mentioned yesterday how good I was looking. I am hoping to find out next week that a bank can help me out. If it does yayyyyyyyyyyyyy nothing much going on in my life right now work and work and work if I can get it. I offered to take on a couple of extra shifts next week. Gives me about 120 in that pay period but thats it I want to be able to catch up on things. Mothers Day and my dads birthday we are doing as a family meal. Everyone will be there including my husband. Don't care how his girlfriend feels its a family meal and he doesnt' have his mother here, and its my dads 70th. I treated my kids yesterday with a couple of hours and a couple of hundred dollars later LOL. Life is bleah but its routine no surprise....yet!