Oh well

I didn't go out last night. I thought about it and thought OK so I am tired, I don't want to deal with other womens opinions (my friend I was thinking was going to be in full rant last night) so I laid down and slept. I would have been too tempted to gamble especially if there were crowds etc. So I opted out I took the phone off the hook and laid down. Now I am glad I did. I was just talking to my friend...not a good idea. I hate the fact she is so resentful of her ex husband. I don't want to deal with that negativity. Time to get on with my own life without here for a few days again now. I don't hate men, I hate what the men in my life have done to me but not all men are the same. I have tried talking to her about how to let it all go and how two people play parts in things. I am going to cook my chicken today and say the hell with everyone else, and I don't want to gamble today if I can help it. I spoke to the woman I go to group with about it and she is going to call me.
I try not to be negative but its hard and I think I am depressed slightly again. I need to change my focus and do something to get out of this funk. Like I said I feel that depression is like walking on the waters edge, sometimes the waves are little tiny ones there but barely touching you to the big swells you get on stormy windy days. I would say its a bit windy on my beach the last few days. I have to change that. My horizons need to be sunny and calm!