Have to start taking care of a few things

I went and saw my counsellor today. I told her with everything thats going on in my life I don't think I have hit rock bottom. Even though I have screwed myself over now bill wise( I gambled and lost it all on friday :( ) I am getting overwhelmed, I am at the hospital every week to see her then I am back and forth getting bloodwork done etc. I am sleeping so so but not great, my eatings off big time. I am so stressed I actually sat here and cried just then. I had to explain to my son that it wasn't the phone ringing ( it showed up as the man that I loves work number, I didn't recognise it at first, I had to dig out his card to find out for sure.) I have been fooling myself and have taken on too much. I am going to be working 7 days straight then helping take care of my nephew. Meanwhile my house is a horrible horrible wreck. I am selling off a couple of things as a consequence to losing so much money this week. I am not beating myself up over it but like I said I am afraid where I don't feel I hit bottom what to do. My counsellor said I don't do much for myself, gambling was about it but I don't go out to the clubs or anything like that. But I need to get things in order. I have screwed up a lot and I said to her sometimes I am looking for a reason to hate myself or be upset myself. She says I have come a long way since I started going. I have a hell of a long way to go, I told my son I am like a car stuck in the mud, spinning my wheels but going no where. I guess I need to stop being who I am and try to find out who I am. I have made a couple of decisions in the last few days, no money no bedroom furniture, no loans for anyone or from anyone. I am not touching any machines and cash is something I can't be trusted with, my addictions are too strong right now and if I don't want to end up on the street I have to think of that. I have to eat properly, try and rest and not work too much my health physical and mental are on the line right now. I had developed a eye twitch in March and its really bad right now. Bad enough looking like I do but the constant twitching is pissing me off! No one wants a crazy woman I am thinking.