Not good

Well I don't know why but the last few days I have been feeling overwhelmed, down and depressed. I guess its the realization that my life will never be the way I wanted it. I am tired, I am tired of working hard, doing everything on my own and seems like everyone elses life moves on. My home reflects it as well, its a dump and a dive.
I am trying to get out of this funk. I am going to go on a roadtrip next week with a co worker, we are going to Labrador City to get away and do a little bit of shopping. I don't have a lot of money but thats it, I have to help pay for gas, and hotel and food. So going shopping is going to be low on the list. I have to deal with my addictions as well. I don't have money and now I have to find money to start up on a few bills. Oh well it will come from somewhere. I don't want to get a second job and part of that is I know I won't run into the man who dumped me if I stay where I am. I am down enough as it is let alone seeing him to remind me of how much he hurt me. He might be able to stop caring and hurt me without it bothering him but I won't open myself up to more hurt by running into him.