Back at it again to try and figure it all out

So I said I was coming back and I slipped into the I don't have tie etc. So now I am making a change in that. To get my mind organized I need to do something.
So I am now officially a social worker, well just waiting to register. At the grand old age of 46 I have achieved something I never thought I was smart enough for.
I was never good enough in my mind, never smart enough (kinda proved myself wrong on that one!), never pretty enough, never thin enough, never ever ever.... but what I was doing was making myself never ever ever. Rejection is a part of life.
 I don't like those little sports things with kids saying...we don't have losers...ummmm unfortunately life isn't like that. Parents who raise children with this ideal of being perfect, wonderful, over achievers are doing their children a dis service. Children need to lose this sense of entitlement that they have, they face failure in life, not getting on the team at school, not making the grades to be top of the class, not getting into the college they want etc. the list goes on. Failure or mediocrity is a part of life for a lot of people. Its not a bad thing to fail, it makes you stronger.
So here I am trying to define myself by others ideals. So now I am "good enough" and "smart enough"/ To be honest I really haven't gotten that much smarter. I have been able to connect what I knew to what society wants, a bit of paper to add value to what I already knew. I can say things with professional sounding jargon but that's it I am still me.
I am still fat, still not the winner of the beauty contest, I need a lot of dental work and my hair is greying. To be honest its not that bad. I dye my hair for my own vanity (46 is way too young to be this grey) and when I do find a position to work in I will get my dental work done.
So now the journey of the rest of my life begins. Step one. Get a job...a social work one!