Tuesday, November 24, 2009

How Can I not sit here and cry

You know I am not a bad person. One thing I have learned about my life is that everything has a price. I don't get any free rides. No one understands my life because in some ways its not credible. I am disappointed right now, I have the opportunity to find out if I have been accepted to university. I can't fill out the permission slip and fax it back. I don't have access to that kind of thing here. So they emailed me back saying I can go to their office. So I called my mom to see if I could get a ride. Nope they have my cousin in from out of town so they just took her where she needed to go and then they have to go pick her up. Why don't I walk down. I could its slippery but I could but you know what I am in such bad shape that it would be hard on me. I just finished three night shifts and I am so sore its not even funny. The point was hoping maybe they would pick me up and take me down for something that is important to me. If I had $20 they could borrow it would be a different story then they would be here by now, and off to buy their beer. No wonder I am so screwed up. I have been programmed to be this way. My ex husband would charge me $5 for gas to take me to work.
Whats the point of living sometimes. Nothing like being made to feel like your a bother or burden your whole life.

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