I HATE LIFE

I just had a blow up with my husband. Because of a stupid card I had to get a few years back and not being able to keep up with payments for a short while its now stopping me from getting a mortgage. I was working in a hotel and needed a winter coat and I had to get a store card because my husband refused to put it on his card. I ended up losing hours and that card got neglected for awhile. Instead a understanding husband who would buy the coat on his card and just include it in his payments I married a selfish prick who refused. I am so upset and I told him that because he wouldnt' buy me a coat during a rough patch I couldn't make payments and god forbid he wouldn't pay for the payments for me now its effecting my life now. My credit is good now but because they go so far back thats still showing. I had a counselling appointment today and of course discussing my marriage I came home to him being here. My son had to witness that but I had had enough.
I am tired of having to do things on my own. Make the best of it if I go bankrupt thats all I can do. If I sell this place he gets $20,000 because its what he is entitled or so he says meanwhile he can't be bothered to do much more than put a peice of plywood on my roof and hope for the best.
I just need a break I swear before I break.