Well I got off work this morning and hit the yard sales. I then went to the store and picked up a few things and came home and have been trying to catch up on things. I am not knocking myself out for anything though. I am supposed to go out tonight and I really don't want to. I was thinking I haven't done much but work and become a hermit. I have no excitement or anything to look forward to in my life. So now its a effort to do anything. I mean when I think about it, why am I doing this to myself.
I want to gamble so bad right now. Its what I have become accustomed to doing for something to do. I haven't been social for a long long time. I guess I lost that spark that I had, I mean face it I haven't been out for a good night in ages. Work has been the focal thing in my life. I have to do things for myself and remember who I am and what I want.
I am tired of being here in this life and whats come with it. Guess I am feeling a little lonely and lost. I need to get out of this situation. Only way is to get on with it, not work so much and do other things. I am tired today and it shows.
Not much on the man front either, one of my old friends was coming to town but he only passed through, married etc but would have been nice to see him and say HI face to face for a change. I was thinking today the man that I loved is probably fucking his way across Canada now, I am not even thought of. Another reason to get out, but not sure LOL two of the women I am going out with are big mouth opinionated ones....nothing like me at all LOL. I know that my friendships are having a negative effect on me and I don't need that I have come this far.
So now as I read this post I recognise two things with me right now...I am tired and haven't eaten today....well picked at crap but its showing isn't it! I have a big meal planned for myself tomorrow. LOL roast chicken with everything. New potatoes are out so I had to cook my favourite meal! Its this time of year when I see new potatoes I crave , get ready for this LOL, roasted chicken, new potatoes, salt beef, greens, peas pudding, carrots and turnip mashed up with gravy and duff (its pudding baked on top of the chicken about 20 minutes before serving) and maybe some stuffing. Thats my indulgence meal this time of year. I don't have to work now until Monday night and it will be good to be off a couple of days!
So now its round 2 with the laundry and get some food in me and cut up my fruit!
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